Testing. Check 1, Check 2. Sibilance. Check, Check.

A few days ago, I told you about how I joined the Circle of Awesomeness Challenge at CrossFit Austin. Since then, our workouts have been devoted to testing so we have a baseline against which to compare ourselves when the Challenge comes to its (bitter - sweet) end in March.

Generally, I love homework and tests. I was always 'that girl' in college: early for the exam, delighted when it was a blue-book essay test, multiple sharpened pencils in my bag.

But CrossFit testing stresses me out. There's no way to study and an ability to express one's thoughts clearly through words really has no advantage whatsoever. I can come armed with my metaphorical sharpened pencils – solid sleep, good nutrition, upbeat attitude, red Converse – but they don't guarantee success.

A few days ago, I read an interview on the Happiness Project blog. It said, basically, anytime we move away from being present and focus instead on regret (aka, the past) or fear (aka, the future), we can get in the way of our own happiness.

I thought about that during our recent tests, as I addressed the bar and stared down the stopwatch.

Could I forget previous PRs and not compare myself to used to or one time? Could I move past the fear of getting stuck under the bar in the back squat? Could I avoid comparing myself to the view of the sprinting butts ahead of me? Could I, somehow, just be in the moment of the test and do my best?

I had mixed success with that plan during the tests themselves. Lots of self-talk going on there... but in the aftermath – now that all my numbers have been duly recorded for future comparison – I'm thinking of those scores the way I think about the photos I posted last week: This is me. In January 2011. Let's see where I go!

CrossFit Total
Deadlift: 185#
Back Squat: 140#
Press: 85# (a new PR!)

The back squat was a little disappointing because I felt like I could lift much more, if only I could stop being afraid at the bottom. I've worked so much on my squat to really make it ass-to-ankles, and on overhead squat, front squat, cleans, and snatches, it's pretty nice. But the back squat scares me every time. More practice!

Anaerobic Power: 200m sprints X 5
:32 - :32 - :31 - :31 - :32

Strength Endurance: Max kipping pullups, unassisted X 3
0

Oh, yes! The lovely score of zero because I haven't YET been able to pull off an unassisted pullup. On the up side, I used the skinniest white band after the unassisted FAIL and knocked out three rounds: 3 - 4 - 2. The good news is that there is SO MUCH room for improvement there.

Just three more tests to go! What frexciting challenges lie ahead?!