No, I didn't eat chocolate cake. But damn it all to hell... I thought about it. Still. Again. Whatever.
This is how it goes: I'm sitting at my desk, diligently working. Or surfing. Or writing a blog post. Or whatever... just doing something that's a variation of "minding my own business and not hurting anybody"... when the mass announcement comes through the corporate overlords' email system:
"Chocolate cake in the main kitchen... Happy Birthday to Brad, Erik, and Tim!"
And before I can stop myself, I actually think, "I could just go have a bite."
MotherFer!
Yes, I could just go have a bite, and the world wouldn't end. But I don't really want a bite.
What I really want is to for my outside to reflect the strength and commitment of my inside. To look superfit. And maybe just a little intimidatingly strong.
And I'm not there yet.
And I won't get there eating a bite of motherf*cking chocolate cake everytime someone puts it within fork's reach.
So riddle me this, dear friends: How much longer do you think it will be before I stop thinking, "I could just go have a bite."?
Ever?
'Cause I just get sick of the mental battle sometimes, ya know?
Oh the mental battles...the private world that is a source of humor when I'm lucky but torture most of time...the private world I still can't blog about...but maybe I should...oh the mental battles.
ReplyDeleteGosh darnit! Mel, I'm proud of you in every way.
It's amazing that you don't "just go have a bite".
ReplyDeleteYou put the thought out of your head, that's huge!
I'm a private chef, I cook 4 courses a night for a couple all summer. It's a daily battle for me to not just have a bite of something incredible (so humble). It's fucking hard.
10 pounds in 26 days are reflecting the self control.
You look incredible. You're a source of inspiration. It's really great for me to hear that you're human.
Thank you, ladies. Truly.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Littles, I'm SUPER human although not yet Superhuman ;-)